


Stories never to be told

by Hisagi90



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, Family Secrets, Other, Worry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-11-27 08:21:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/659845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hisagi90/pseuds/Hisagi90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some short scenes between Fili and Kili, mostly from Filis point of view as they travel on, through their way towards the Erebor and Smaug.<br/>Conversations and thoughts that we didn't hear of, Fili trying to deal with the seriousness of this trip and the burdens that start to wear him out.</p><p>It might turn into Fili/Kili, you might also interpret it like that, but so far it's not intended like that haha</p><p>Update to ch 5: so yes, it kinda gives off the feeling of one-sided-in-love from Kili. I dunno where this is taking me and Im afraid to pull it into a slash :></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Starting at Bag End

"Ring the bell."

"But I'm nervous."

"It's just a Hobbit."

"Yes, but the first one we are meeting!"

"Stop grinning like an idiot and ring the bell already!"

Opening the door was a small creature - not so much smaller though - that made some sort of grimace when he saw them.

One of them smiling slightly, the other making a serious face, trying not to grin.

"Fili."

"And Kili."

"At your Service.", said both of them while bowing. Standing straight again both were smiling and especially one grinning brightly again.

\-------------------

"Uncle really likes this song, doesn't he?", Kili asked his brother when they laid down in a room to sleep later at night.

"It's an important song in our history, so I guess it's more of a motivation for the things to come.", Fili answered while trying to find a more comfortable position on the floor.

This house is really big, it does have a lot of rooms, but even if there would be enough beds for all dwarves to sleep in, they were simply a bit too small for them. Even though it seems surprising, because the dwarves aren't that much taller than Hobbits. Maybe they simply don't want other people to sleep in their beds and made them just big enough for a tall Hobbit.

"... will we ... can we go back home safe?", Kili asked and the thoughts that were racing in his mind were visible on his face.

"Don't worry, Kili. Be your happy self. We'll manage, get the Erebor back and finally live in peace again. Like we should have for a long time. And we'll have lots to talk about when we're done.", he answered and cupped his brothers face.

"Did I do well today?"

This question surprised Fili. His brother rarely thinks about his actions - before or after doing them - nor about the consequences they might have.

"I think Mr. Baggins has a weird opinion of you now. Looking at him all serious and then grinning so brightly."

Kilis face went from worried to shocked and Fili had to stifle a snicker.

"I'm just kidding. We came with 13 dwarves into his house. Unannounced, eating his food, drinking his ale, singing songs and throwing his dishes around. I don't hink he had enought time to be troubled by one grinning like an idiot."

"Do you think Mr. Boggins will come along?"

"Baggins. I'm not sure. He really doesn' seem able to survive out there. Uncle was quite right. I hope he'll come, though."

"Me too. It would be fun.", Kili smiled again.

Fili nodded slowly, his face becoming a bit more serious while turning towards his brother.

"It's not a trip for fun, though. Go to sleep now, we'll have an early start tomorrow."

"Okay. Good night, brother.", Kili said while his eyes slowly closed and grabbed his brothers hand.

"G'night, Kili.", Fili said and squeezed Kilis hand.

"It will go well...", he said before drifting off to sleep.


	2. Bilbo joining the company

"Stop pulling at my sleeve. I can see the Hobbit just fine without you pointing at him."

Fili tried to get rid of the hand on his clothes, while Kili stared in awe at the said Hobbit, that catched up to them and stated his wish to come along after all. Seems as if the desire for an adventure was too much for him to handle and got the better of him.

"But... but he's gonna come with us. I was right!", Kili answered and started to grin like an idiot. Again.

They heard Bilbo saying he doesn't want a pony and could just walk with them. They smiled at each other mischievously and rode up behind the Hobbit. Grabbing him to carry him onto a free pony ahead.

The dwarves starting to pass money around, Fili also getting one.

Kili looked at him shocked. "You bet on him coming?"

Fili gave a small smile and shrugged his shoulders.

"We're not the youngest anymore I guess. Maybe uncle won't babysit us that much anymore."

"I wouldn't bet on it, Kili."

Fili knew how much this trip meant to their uncle Thorin, even though he couldn't quite grasp the dangers that they might come across on their way. He knew how much his uncle had rejected the idea of them joining his company. But they wouldn't stop bugging him until he had agreed. 

Fili knew just how much it burdened Thorin. Because if something would happen to him, he and his brother would be the next on the throne. It was also a deep burden on Fili. He was thinking a lot about it, since the moment they decided to go along on this trip. It wasn't only Kili that worried him so much. The seriousness his uncle showed kinda scared him. He felt that his uncle would do nearly anything to achieve his goal. He just didn't know if his uncle would sacrifice everything for it.

"...li."

"Fili!"

Fili snapped out of his thoughts and turned to his brother. Kili looked worried at him.

"... I'm okay. Sorry, was just thinking about something."

Kili studied him for some seconds and nodded while turning forwards again.

He really should stop that, thinking in the middle of the day. It crossed Filis mind, that he'd start to worry his baby brother. And that's the last thing he wanted.


	3. Keeping watch

It was Filis turn to keep watch.

He knew that Gandalf was also still awake. His uncle seemed to sleep in a kinda uncomfortable sitting position not far from the fire. Maybe he wasn't even sleeping. He could never tell what his uncle was up to, nor did he bother to find it out. His uncle didn't like it when his nephews poked their noses into something they'd better off not knowing about.

He lazily moved his head, when he saw movement from the direction of Kilis sleeping place. It wasn't all that far from the fire. Firstly because it was warm there and secondly he didn't like being too far away from his brother. Kili sat up, turned to look for Fili - most likely he guessed - and when he found him at the fire on watch duty, stood up and came over. He sat next to Fili and looked at him. Still sleepy.

"Can't sleep?"

"Uh."

Fili smiled. He knew that Kili had trouble sleeping, when he wasn't around. Both had been together ever since the younger's birth, so pretty much their whole life. Even before leaving on this trip, they had shared a room. Often sleeping in the same bed, just to make sure that the other was there. Even Fili felt lonely, when his brother wasn't near him. Their uncle and mother never seemed to have understood how much they meant for each other. Even less other dwarves could understand. At least their uncle and mother accepted it after some years when they saw that the brothers couldn't be taken apart. You always saw them together. Most people actually thought they were twins. It might just have been.

Kili got his knife and a block of wood out and started to work on some mysterious piece again.

Fili continued smoking his pipe and watching his brother.

He watched his face, that got more and more serious and wrinkled brows. His chuckle got Kili to look up annoyed - if that is possible with him missing the typically dwarf-features.

"Give it to me for a bit.", Fili said and held out his hand with the piple.

Kili looked at him for a moment, before taking the pipe and handing over the knife and block of wood to his brother.

"Having problems with the feet again?"

Kili made some sort of disapproving groan and turned away to watch the sky while taking a puff from his brothers pipe.

Fili chuckled again and started to work on the block. After some moments - in which Kili had turned back and watched his brother ever since - he held out his hand with the tools again.

Kili grabbed for them and their hands touched for some seconds longer than necessary while locking eyes. Not that anyone of them would have minded touching any longer.

Kili gave back Filis pipe and they continued sitting in silence, smoking pipe and working on a block of wood.

The next thing that got them to look up was Bilbo standing up to go to his pony. He seemed to have grown attached to it, controversial to his strong rejecting a pony on the beginning of their journey. Maybe it was the adventurer blood in him.

It followed some making fun of an orc attack at night to scare Bilbo and an earful from their uncle not finding that funny at all.


	4. Before and after meeting trolls

Their childish behavior never stopped. The next time it brought them trouble was something, the two brothers would never forget.  
They were supposed to look after the ponies. Well, they did. In the beginning.

Until they got into this little argument.

"I know something is troubling you, why don't you just tell me?!", Kili shouted, his face fierce.

"It's nothing. There is nothing to talk about!"

"Yeah, right. I know I'm the youngest of the group and your younger brother, but I've always been with you. Do you think I wouldn't knew if there is something going on? Something troubling you? Do you think I wouldn't notice? Ever since we left Mr. Baggins house, there is something troubling you."

Fili gasped. He would have never thought that his little baby brother - who is always so happy-go-lucky - would notice him being troubled by something. Not like he thought, that Kili didn't care enough to notice, but just that he isn't adult enough yet to trouble himself with the seriousness of things. He'd rather take things head on, not looking for a deeper meaning. After all his big brother Fili would always look out for him and save his ass if he got himself into trouble. Somehow Fili even prefered it that way. He'd rather see his brother smiling than worried and all serious in such a young age. One of them being like that was more than enough.

It actually shocked him. He didn't want to trouble Kili too. And it still ended up like that because he wasn't able to hide his feelings and thoughts and showed them so openly. He really had to work on that. Pushing the dark thoughts further into himself.

"I ... there's ...", Fili was at a loss for words. He'd always talk with his brother, but he didn't dare speak to him about his deepest thoughts, his biggest troubles. His fears about not being able to go home again, dying on this trip, losing his uncle, losing his baby brother... How could he tell him and show how weak he actually is, when Kili and also Thorin were proud of him for being a good dwarf prince, being strong and taking care of the younger of them?

He looked up to his brother and saw the mix of worry, love and anger in his eyes.

"Can't you or do you simply not want to talk to me?", there was a bit of hope in Kilis question. Wanting to hear that it was the first.

Filis eyes narrowed a bit. Reckoning what the best answer would be. Even though Kili was never one to think much, he still wasn't as dumb as most people might think. Especially when it came to his beloved older brother he has been with since birth.

Fili sighed and stepped forwards to close the space they had created while shouting at each other.

He moved to take Kilis hands, who also approached easily when he saw Fili move.

When their hands found the other's they just stood there for a bit. Then their heads moved towards each other until their foreheads touched. They often did that as children, when they got an earful after playing pranks and Fili was telling Kili they would have forgotten by tomorrow and there is nothing to worry about. It has always been a sign of calmness for them. The world stood still in that moment.

"I'm sorry, Kili. I don't want to trouble you, too. I want to keep you safe from all the dangers out there. If I can take the pain and darkness darkening this trip, just so you aren't burdenend, I'll gladly do it. You're my baby brother and we should have never come along on this trip. So please let me keep these thoughts to myself, be your usual self and stand by my side. That will help me."

Kili had closed his eyes. It took him some seconds to nod slowly.

"I'll trust you. But I want you to talk to me, when you have the urge to. I'm your brother and will always stay with you, so please don't let me out of your problems. ... Please."

Fili squeezed his brother's hands, moved by the love and bond between them. Kili never failing to say the wrong things when it came to his brother. No matter how many pranks they played, how much trouble they got into or how much Thorin and their mother lectured them, Kili was always thankful to his brother to stick with him and protect him no matter what.

"Thank you."

They continued standing there in silence for several minutes, not caring for the world around them.

When they heard the ponies nicker, they stepped apart and looked shocked at each other.

Going back to the ponies they noticed soon that they were missing two of them.

Thinking about what to do, Bilbo found them shortly after just like that.

\-------------------

After being caught by trolls, nearly eaten alive and saved by a Hobbit and wizard, they went to check the troll cave. Thorin, Gandalf, Dwalin, Bofur, Nori and Gloin went into the cave. The others waiting in front of it, running all over.

Fili and Kili stood close together right in front of the entry to the cave.

Fili studied his brother for any after effects from the earlier event. Actually he looked pretty fine. More like he had a fun game instead of his first meeting with trolls.

"Are you okay?"

The question caught him off guard. Kili looked at him waiting for an answer.

Fili raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"You?"

Kili grinned. "Yes, of course."

"You always see the fun side, don't you?"

Kilis grin dropped instantly as he noticed the seriousness in Filis voice.

"We survived."

The older one sighed. "Yes, but we were lucky... You shouldn't try to get so much attention. No one cares if you have the biggest parasites."

"It was like some sort of competition who could be the loudest.", Kili explained, stepping from one foot onto the other, like a little kid trying to excuse his mischievous behaviour.

"You just jump into everything. Trying to get Bilbo from the trolls, while I was getting the others. What if something had happened?"

"I knew that you'd be right back. You're always there to back me up and take care of me, to save me."

"I'm doing my best not to leave you alone for too long. But you have to take care, when I'm not around. Promise me?"

Fili knew that Kili thought he was babysitting him too much. But Kili didn't seem to care, nor was he annoyed by it.

Not that much would annoy him, he usually showed it quite openly, when something annoyed him.

Kili stepped closer and locked eyes with his brother.

"I'm doing what I can to help uncle and protect the company. I can't always be protected by everyone, especially not you. I want to be able to stand with you as an equal that can fight back to back with you."

Filis face softened. "You know I'd trust you with my life, don't you?"

Kili nodded. "I do. But it's still more likely that something will happen to you while protecting me. Having to fight and at the same time looking after me isn't that easy. So I have to become stronger."

Fili smiled at the trying-to-look-serious grimace of his baby brother.

"You're archery is already a big help. We'll just have to get your other skills a bit more polished up. We'll do some training the next time we rest."

Kilis remarkable grin appeared and he nodded.

Their uncle decided to come out of the cave in this very moment, just raising an eyebrow on his smiling nephews.


	5. Meeting elves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well the story goes on and on.
> 
> And after this chapter it actually feels like some sort of one-sided love from Kili, ahaha. So sorry.

This weird wizard tried to get the wargs away, in a simply stupid way. If Fili would have to say. He was going in circles around them, so it wasn’t quite easy to get away. It were big circles, but still circles. And this place was … well quite open, with few rocks and even fewer trees. And now that Kili had killed the warg with his orc-rider, they were found really fast by the others.

Gandalf was nowhere to be seen and Kili was shooting arrow after arrow, but the wargs just seemed to be multiplying. He saw Ori trying to shoot one with his slingshot, but it wasn’t quite as effective as one might think. It worked better against the trolls.

"This way, you fools!", he then heard Gandalfs voice. Appearing behind a small rock in front of a big rock. Thorin went to stay on the small one, making sure every single dwarf - and Hobbit for a matter of fact - got down there safely. Whatever 'down there' was.

Fili stopped next to Thorin and looked for Kili, who was still shooting at wargs and their orc-riders. He looked back to check on the dwarves jumping down.

'Oin, Gloin … 3, 4…', he counted in his head.

Thorin turned to him and nodded to the secret cave, but Fili only shaked his head before turning back to watch his younger brother.

He heard his uncle give a grumpy snort as an approval to stay. Not like he would have gotten Fili to move away with his brother still out there.

Fili guessed, that his uncle knew that, but had tried either way, because he doesn’t want them hurt or in danger. Even this whole trip was a big danger to begin with. Like a one-way trip to hell. That’s actually what Fili thought about it since the moment he heard Gandalf say to Bilbo he couldn’t promise, that he’ll come back at all.

Most of them hadn’t even seen Smaug. Too young, on a trip somewhere else or being lucky for another reason. They only knew dragons from stories. And in them they seemed pretty scary and dangerous. The thing that got Kili’s interest, while Fili knew it’s no joking matter. Well if one of them could think rationally, the other could take it less serious.

If one of the company could return safely, it would be Bilbo. Fili was sure of it. The Hobbit doesn’t seem like much, but those people are usually the ones making it out alive. Gandalf not counting, as a wizard he will survive either way.

"Kili!"

The voice of his uncle got him out of his thoughts and his head turned instantly towards his brother.

They were the last ones to go down there. Kili shot another arrow before starting to run towards them. He nodded to Fili, who then jumped into the cave, followed by his brother and uncle.

They moved through the cave and some long channel.

It actually surprised no one - maybe not even Thorin - that they ended up in Rivendell. The place Gandalf had tried to get Thorin to go to for help.

Still the dwarves and the Hobbit were amazed by the beauty of this place. The name 'the last homely house' wasn’t as unfitting as it seemed. 

While Gandalf and Thorin were arguing again, Fili turned to his brother, who came down the stone steps behind him.

"You okay?"

"M'fine."

He checked his baby brother up and down to make sure of it.

Just a bit later they stood in Rivendell and were surrounded by elves on horses. Fili would have to lie when saying he was not feeling intimidated by them at all. They were big, reaaally big after all.

He instinctly pushed Kili into the middle of the dwarf circle to protect him. Not that it was necessary though, because the elves only rode around and stared down at them.

Their leader was no one else but Elrond, well known even amongst the dwarves. Surprisingly he invited them to eat with him. Thorin didn't like it, but knew better than to reject the offer.

Fili was glad about that, because after running away from the trolls, losing their ponies and being hunted by the orc-riders, finally having some time to relax and sit down was really relaxing. No matter where it was.

It was hard to eat though, Ori pointed out quite accurate, than green food is nothing for dwarves. Dwalin searching for some meat in between lettuce leaves. Filie tried to get his brother to eat a bit of it, he himself wasn't that picky. Their uncle had teached him early on that he should take what he can get. You never know what might happen till the next time you can eat.

_'So even if you don't like it, eat enough to keep yourself going.'_

This sentence has always been stuck in Filis head since he was small. Their uncle had teached them a lot of things - Kili forgot most of it, due to a lack of interest - and was quite happy when they did something in a way he had showed them. Though you really can't use much he showed them, it was nothing for the ordinary life.

Fili chuckled upon that memory. If Thorin would find out how much Kili always forgot, not even Durin himself could save his baby brother from the fury of his uncle.

He returned his attention once more to the food around himself and started as well to get something down, he hadn't noticed how hungry he actually was.

\-------------------

He stood outside of a room, the elves gave Fili and Kili to sleep in. He saw Thorin, Bilbo and Gandalf going somewhere. Guess to talk about that map. So some time was left.

Fili went back into the room and closed the door. Kili was on his back on one of the beds, staring up to the ceiling. Fili simply watched his younger brother do nothing.

After some minutes it was the younger dwarf that broke the silence.

"You know, Fili... I've never said it out loud and might never act like it, kinda take it for granted, but I'm really happy and thankful to you for caring for me and taking care of me, saving my ass, staying with me and taking the blame when I did something stupid. Uncle and mother often said, that I'm depending way too much on you, but you never seemed bothered. I can't imagine there being a better big brother than you.

After today please forget I said that, because it's embarrassing.

But when I saw you standing at the rock today, while I was shooting at orc-riders, waiting for me and not going down before I was there, really reminded me how much you do for me.

So if you need help to, please ask me. I'm happy if I can help you with anything to pay you back!"

Fili smiled and walked over to the bed to sit down on it.

"You don't have to pay me back anything, you're my brother and I wanted to take care of you."

"That's what older siblings are supposed to do and yet a lot wouldn't go to that extent. We dwarves care deeply for the family, I know that. Even amongst the distant relatives, cousins and great-uncles. I also understand this whole loving only once, not that I can comprehend it yet though. But I know that there is no one more important to me than you."

Fili turned on the bed to face his brother and took a hand of his brother into his own.

"You shouldn't say that. What about mother and uncle?"

"They're family, so they are important, but you're like the other half of my life. I've been with you for so long, I can't imagine a life without you."

The older sighed and squeezed his brothers hand.

Kili continued: "It's like we're destined lovers - once in a lifetime. I can't even imagine someone else becoming more important than you, brother."

Fili looked thoughtfully at his baby brother before answering.

"You have many years to go, many dwarf women to meet, you shouldn't easily dismiss this once in a lifetime love like that. You'll never know whom you could meet."

Kili frowned and finally turned his look from the ceiling to his brother.

"You don't like me being the one in your life, more important than anyone else? You'd exchange me with any person out there?"

"I didn't mean it like that. But you can't compare family to that one love."

"I'm perfectly fine with you."

This made Fili chuckle.

"Yes, because you've been your whole life around me. If it had been some dwarf girl, you might want to be with her forever ... as lovers."

Kili sat up and moved a bit closer to his big brother, before staring at him.

"I wouldn't! It's like that because of you!", he shouted and hugged Fili around his stomach.

Fili started to caress the hair of Kili.

If someone would listen in on them, it could seem like the talk between two lovers and not brothers, let alone the heirs to the to-be dwarf king Thorin Oakenshield.

It was so comfortable and seemed so normal that the words slipped out, without him planning to.

"I could spend my whole life with you... or die fighting at your side."

Kilis grip on Fili tightened.

"...ve you.", he murmured.

Fili stopped caressing his brothers hair.

"What did you say?"

Kili was quiet for a moment. And Fili thought he wouldn't answer anymore.

"I love you. ... You're the best brother ever."

Fili smiled and continued caressing Kilis hair.

"Thanks, love you, too."

They sat in silence for an hour or two until it knocked on their door.

"Fili, Kili! We're going!"

Both were up in a second, Kili losing his footing for a moment, because he had been sitting awkwardly for so long.

Fili catched him with grabbing his arm.

They looked at each other and started laughing. It had been many years since they were cuddling like that and Kili's feet had also been falling asleep, making him fall down at that time.

They took their stuff and went out the door to find a waiting Thorin with raised eyebrow, looking his nephews up and down, before leading them to the others and out of Rivendell.


	6. This feeling of losing someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Took me some rewatching to make out which dwarf was on which side when they were parted on in the stone giants battle. And I also noticed then, that there were some mix up, like once Kili was standing in front of Bofur and not Fili, also Kili helped someone take cover to the wall, which was not Dori, who is supposed to stand in front of him.
> 
> Also Im 100% sure now, that Thorin is wearing a ponytail/hairclip at the back of his head.
> 
> In order of walking:
> 
> Thorin's group (that was safe): Thorin, Gloin, Oin, Balin, Bifur, Nori, Dori, Kili
> 
> Fili's group (being ripped away): Fili, Bofur, Bilbo, Dwalin, Ori, Bombur

It was simply supposed to be a somewhat difficult walk through the mountains, along the rock wall. Paying attention were to step and carefully hold onto the wall. One wrong step and you'd fall into the depths of death. Never being found again unless the mountain decides to spit you out of its mouth.

Ending up in the middle of a Stone Giants Battle was surely not, what Fili had in mind when they started their way up into the mountains. They were huge, they were impossible to fight, they didn't care if some dwarves and a hobbit were standing in their midst, even less if they could die. Guess they aren't able to think or are just simply evil. If they just pop out and start battling, then the Giants wouldnt be known as legends but a big talk all around. So maybe they just choose the wrong time to come along? Either way he didn't like and wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

The stones being tossed above their heads, smashing at the rock wall didn't help at all. When the mountain started to split, right beside his feet and the first thing he thought of was Kili.

"Kili."

"Kili! Gray my hand!"

"What's happening?", he heard his brother.

Then it was too late to get on the same side. Kili was moving away.

"Kili."

They stood there, looking at each other. The shocked and scared look on his brothers face was killing him. How could he ever think, that losing his brother was the worst. He'd be left alone, with his other half being gone. Literally his life ripped off of him. Not knowing what would hold meaning without his brother. There is no point in living when the person you took care of your whole life, you care more about than anyone else just disappeared and you couldn't do anything about it.

No. The worst would be to die and leave his brother behind. He couldn't even imagine how lost Kili would be. Since he was born, there had always been a Fili at his side. A big brother to look up to, that takes care of him, that tells him what to do and not to do, that protects him, but also plays pranks with him on other people. There was still his uncle and mother, but it wouldn't be the same.

_'I can't even imagine someone else becoming more important than you, brother.'_

_'I'm perfectly fine with you.'_

A sob escaped Fili before he was forced to hold on to the rock wall so he wouldn't fall off, when the Stone Giant tarted to move again. He looked away from the place Kili just had disappeared from, new resolve forming in his heart.

'There is no way I'm going to die and leave him behind, neither will I let him die. Even if I have to take apart those Stone Giants stone for stone to get to him and out of here, it will not stop me.'

One might say, people being protective become the strongest, though it's still not possible to fight a Stone Giant, but those thoughts at least helped Fili to keep going and not give up instantly.

He could barely make out that the other group managed to change places onto a part of the mountain that was not a Stone Giant - at least not one moving yet.

So it was only their group that was still in danger, on the knee of this Stone Giant. He was hit by a rock into his - presumably - his face and moved sideways. Their group moving along the others, exchanging shocked faces. Fili managed to lock eyes with his brother, the fear in his eyes was unbearable. But the time was too short to shout something at him or give a sign to calm him.

The next thing he remembered was moving forwards into a cliff on the mountain. He barely was able to make out his uncle's voice.

"No!"

"Nooooo!"

"No! Kiliiiiiiiiii!"

Fili snarled.

'Great uncle, you just mixed us up again. Kili is safe on your side.'

They both always were worried the most about the youngest, but Thorin got them mixed up all the time, worrying about Kili, no matter who actually was in danger. It's like he didn't even care about Fili. It stung a bit.

He was the next-to-be-heir after his uncle, but all his uncle cared about was Kili being safe. Fili wants that too of course, but his uncle not caring about him, was just so… so wrong. It has been troubling the older for some while. He'd never dare to say anything though.

Since they have been small, they tried to be accepted and approved of by their uncle. Fili had it always easier, copying the other dwarves. Kili always seemed to go his own way, starting to learn archery and on top he hardly grew any beard. Thorin still liked him just as much though. It has been meaningless to Fili in the last decades and had kind of given up on trying to improve his uncle much more than necessary.

He rather trained becoming stronger to protect his little baby brother. Since the day Kili was born, Fili swore to take care of him, protect him. And he didn't plan to fail so soon in his task. Not if he couldn't help it.

"It's alright, they're alive!", one of the dwarves' voices got to him and he opened his eyes to find himself and the others lying on the ground, a bit buried in stones, but alive and mostly unhurt except for small bruises and scratches. His uncle appeared around the corner and checked them over, counting if everyone was there.

Seeing his proud uncle letting a small relieved sigh go would make him chuckle, if not for the near-death experience he just went through.

While trying to find his footing and taking in the others around him, Fili barely noticed that Bilbo was hanging at the cliff and his uncle pulling him up, nearly falling himself and shouting at the Hobbit again. None of them had been very helpful on this trip yet, so he didn't understand why his uncle was letting it out on the Hobbit so much. He felt sorry for Bilbo.

Thorin and Dwalin went into the cave - which entry was by chance just where they had fallen - glancing at his nephew that was now helping Bombur to stand up. That was about all he offered Fili to make sure he was okay.

One by one the dwarves and Hobbit followed into the cave, even Bombur which Fili finally got up. That guy made awesome food, but maybe he should have little less of it.

He stretched and stopped suddenly. Kili didn't pass yet. No, he wouldn't without saying anything. Fili would know if he would have gone past him. He surely...

**"Ki-"**

"Fili, you okay?", Kili's dark hair appeared at the corner and as soon as he saw Fili ran up to him.

Fili let out a sigh and cupped his brothers face.

Kili's look went from relieved to worried, took Fili's head in both hands and brought their foreheads together while closing his eyes.

The older one followed suit and they stood in silence for some seconds.

"Thank you for having survived."

The other snarted.

"That should be my line. When that thing was moving towards the rock wall I was sure you'd be dead. My heart stopped for a moment."

Fili smiled, opening his eyes to look at his baby brother. Kili noticing the movement did the same.

"He called out for me again."

"He so did. Sometimes I think he's doing that on purpose."

They went silent again before breaking out in laughter.

"Come on in, lads. You'll end up more soaking wet than you already are.", came Bofur's voice from the cave entry.

They turned to him, nodded and followed him into the cave.

\-------------------

The moment they laid down in the cave, next to each other as close as they could, they started talking again. The others were still awake, some walking around, finding a better place to rest or simply being as far away as possible from the dwarves that tend to snore.

One might think, that they should run of stuff to talk about, but there was no end to it. Lately they've mostly been talking about their worries and so on and while this trip continues, there wouldn't be an end to them, for sure.

Their legs were tangled and their hands somewhere in between, grabbing for a bit of cloth from the other or trying to find a hand.

"Are you really okay?"

"You were in danger of being squashed to death, stop worrying about me, I was perfectly fine... except for you not being by my side."

"I just couldn't stand you being left behind. I'd hate to die and leave you all alone.", Fili exhaled and closed his eyes.

Kili watched his brothers face, before moving in to put a gentle kiss on his furrowed eyebrows.

"I'm alright. I'll do my best to survive and wait for you to come back. So that none of us has to be alone, ever."

Fili opened his eyes again and nodded with slightly teary eyes.

"I'll go wherever you will go, way up high or down low. I don't want to be apart again. I couldn't bear looking into mum's or uncle's face and telling them, that I was not able to protect my little brother."

Kili chuckled. "I can assure you, Mr. Dwarf, that you are doing your job perfectly. There is no better big brother and I'm sure your younger brother is very happy to have someone that looks after the mess he creates. You can't be around all 24/7 though, you need to rest so that you have full energy on the next day to take care of him. So at least when we're having time to lay down, use it to sleep and stop thinking about stupid things."

"Even though you are the baby brother and always bringing trouble upon us, you really know how to calm me down when I'm a mess of thoughts. You don't worry about the small stuff, I wish I could do that too."

"You are fine like that. Uncle wouldn't be able to handle two of my sort. It would be more fun though."

Fili poked his brother's ribs, but didn't say anything and closed his eyes again.

"Going to listen to your younger brother and rest a bit?"

The older one only hummed and Kili smiled at him, with a look that had a bit of sadness mixed in it. Knewing how much work he added to his brother's burdenes, didn't go unnoticed by him. He cuddled closer and thought about having a good night of rest.

Sleep they didn't get much, as the floor below them opened not so long after and they slid down a long stony channel.


	7. In the frying pan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one took a bit, because I had no idea where to continue. Skip the whole Goblin city scene and continue afterwards. But I decided to put some new scene in it, because if you watch the Goblin city scene with lots of attention, you notice that you hardly ever see Fili!
> 
> I also didn't know when to stop, but I thought I try to be mean and stop at a bad point.
> 
> Lastly I want to thank you for reading ♥

The next minutes went by really fast. Sliding down a stony channel and then landing in some sort of cage with no way to escape as the goblins came rushing in from the front - the only open way out.

Fili looked to his brother. Kili had landed right next to him, he also looked at him. Both stood at the very edge of cage as the goblins came rushing in, pulling the dwarves apart and towards that only way out. The dwarves tried to defend themselves, but there were too many goblins, they couldn't move without fearing to hurt a friend. Also they were still shaken up from the slide down that long stony channel. Even if surprisingly no one got hurt.

The goblins slowly made their way towards Fili and Kili, the older thinking hard about what to do, of any way to get his brother out of here. But there was no way, just a very deep abyss behind them.

Well if Fili had to be honest, jumping down and dying because of blood loss due to several wounds from hitting the rock walls still sounded better than being tortured to death by goblins. Or worse if that could be possible.

But Fili couldn't make this decision for Kili and so he stood there and watched the oncoming creatures. He noticed his uncle a few feet in front of him, as he struggled through the bundle of goblins and dwarves towards his nephews. When he was about to grab both of them, he was dragged away suddenly, the goblins having reached him.

Fili instinctly reached out for his uncle, but was dragged and pushed by goblins just seconds later. The only thing he managed to do was sticking as close as possible to Kili. It went on and on until he could see some sort of big platform in the big cave where they seemed to go to.

"Kili."

Fili tried to grab his brother, but couldn't reach him. He just had…

"Kili!"

This time his brother heard him and turned his head.

Fili looked at him. "Stick as close to uncle as you can, got it?"

Kili frowned. The blond knew what the other thought. Wondering why he should stick with their uncle instead to his brother. Kili nodded either way.

Fili looked relieved toward the platform again.

He never reached the platform with the others thought. The stupid goblins gagged him and kept him behind the others. Between him, his captors and the others interposed goblins and he was cut off. Not able to speak. Not that it would have made a difference with them being captured and all.

He only got a short look at the goblin king, a big and ugly creature and that thing… his… chin perhaps, was really creepy. It moved when he did, when he spoke or even when he just moved his eyes.

Fili was forced down to knee on the floor and could only hear the others and the goblin king talking.

"… which makes you nobody, really."

"And nobody you really are. We could deal you more damage than you'd even realize."

"You better not hurt one of us.", Fili heard his uncle growl.

"Or what, king under the mountain?"

Fili didn't know if his uncle didn't answered or if he simply didn't hear anything because of the hit to his face that came so unexpected - as unexpected as possible when captured by the enemy, really - he couldn't dodge it.

It didn't know him out or to the floor, the next hit did though. The goblins put him back into the kneeing position. Fili was awaiting the next hit, but it seemed to be put on hold again. He then heard the voices from the others again.

"Why are you doing this?", one of them shouted, sounds like Dori.

"We won't be put down by you.", another said, most likely Gloin.

Dwalin just grumbled: "Wait till I get my weapons back."

The goblin king started laughing and Fili imagined that fat thing of a chin wobbling around.

"Maybe we should give you all some pain."

Fili managed to move and avoid the next hit, another following shortly to his head this time. He barely noticed the struggling going on in front of him, most likely the goblins attacking the dwarves and the latter trying to resist in any way possible without weapons.

A loud sound, a flash of light and a heavy shock wave. They were pushed to the ground. Goblins, dwarves, all the same.

"Take up arms. Fight! … FIGHT!"

Fili recognized the wizard's voice and struggled a bit trying to get up, hit and kicked the goblins around him to stay away. He'd not get captured again, managed to jump through the goblin "wall", that had him separated from the others earlier, which was still half down on the ground.

He saw his swords being thrown through the air and jumped in time to catch them. The weapons in his hands brought back a bit of fighting spirit instantly.

The way out of the cave was a marathon, maybe triathlon would fit better. Running, dodging, fighting. They jumped over goblins, down on other paths, different platforms, slashing at goblins, shoving a huge rock - Gandalf had magically detached from a wall - in front of them and running through channels and more of that.

In the end they came to stop on another platform and the goblin king appeared in front of them again. This creature was even uglier than Fili had thought at first. No, ugly didn't even describe it.

Gandalf slashed at him several times and then it cracked. The dwarves knew instantly what that noise was. The platform they stood on made itself independent and they fell. Standing or laying on the platform, trying to hold onto anything, but still falling down nonetheless.

Fili grabbed for Kili's arm and pushed him down to hold onto the platform or what was left of it, while it got smaller - splintering wood flying off, grinded off from the rock walls, because the platform just fit in between the rock walls to the left and right.

They landed with a loud crash on the ground - finally ground, because all this walking on bridges and platforms out of wood above a really deep abyss was surely nothing Fili would like to do again so soon while not being able to move properly with goblins all around him - more or less they were shaken up.

"Well, that could have been worse.", Bofur was always quite the optimistic guy, no matter the situation.

Just as he said that, the fat goblin king fell down on them, squashing them and the platform together, what was left of it to be more precise.

Dwalin with his sturdy body said:"You've gotta be joking." And if it wouldn't be for this situation, this would have made Fili laugh, because Dwalin barely ever complained about anything.

They tried to free themselves of the wood and mud around them, before Kili's voice got their attention.

"Gandalf!", he shouted and the dwarves and wizard looked up the rock walls to see the goblins coming down after them, climbing down walls like spiders.

"Only one thing can save us. Daylight! RUN!"

Fili had trouble to get up, the hits to his head finally showed effects. Thorin appeared at his side and grabbed his arm to pull him up.

They ran as fast as they could, trying to get out of the cave and as far away as possible from the goblins. With Gandalf leading it didn't take long to get out. How that wizard always knew such stuff or how he got into the middle of the goblin city without being noticed, Fili had no idea. But he knew, that having the wizard on their side was for the best.

His hurting head had stopped for the moment, maybe he was just busy with running, but was glad it stopped either way.

When they paused to catch up on breathing and Fili had a moment to relax and take a deep breath, the pain instantly came back. It overcame him so hard, that everything went black.


	8. How the family feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeep, another chapter. I had it done for about 95% for the last week, but only today (I was so sick and didn't feel like doing something else. Im surprised I managed to type it lol) got a chapter end.
> 
> It's weird though... somehow... I don't know. Too many thoughts xD
> 
> Well enjoy, and thanks for reading if you find here :)

"Fili?"

Kili was next to his brother and grabbed him instantly when he suddenly fell over. Slowly sitting down on the ground, taking the other with him.

"Fili." Kili tried shaking him slightly, looking at his face over the shoulder, but Fili's eyes remained closed.

"Fili!"

The now shouting dwarf - while still in danger of goblins and maybe others - got the other dwarves' attention. Gandalf and Thorin came to crouch next to the brothers.

"What happened?", Gandalf asked and looked at the younger.

"I… I don't know… I…", Kili swallowed. His eyes wandering from his brother's head to his uncle, to the wizard and back again.

"Calm down, Kili.", his uncle said harshly but yet had a comforting touch in his voice.

Kili took a deep breath. "We came out… and we stopped… we… I don't know. He just fell over, fainted."

Thorin frowned, Gandalf glanced at him sideways before slowly checking Fili's head. He stopped after some seconds and pulled out one hand from behind the unconscious' head.

Kili gulped, Thorin growled and Gandalf surely didn't look pleased. An injured dwarf is the last thing they needed now, especially if unconscious.

His hand had blood on it. Not too much to alarm the wizard, but enough to worry him.

"You seem to have lost all your bags, does anyone still have bandages though? Otherwise I need some cloth to patch him up as much as possible.", Gandalf spoke loud enough for everyone to hear, even if by now they all stood around the four on the ground.

Oin as the apothecary and healer always kept a small bag with him, which had few stuff for treatment in it. He pulled some bandages out, also some liquid to put on the wounds.

Gandalf worked fast on the injured head of the blond dwarf. Making out two bleeding wounds and one with a big bump at the hairline.

Kili got more pale the longer he watched the wizard and his older brother still not moving or giving any sign of waking up.

"What happened?!", Thorin roared at everyone and no one at all.

"I didn't see him…", Kili said and his shocked look met his uncle's questioning one.

"When we talked to the goblin king, I didn't see him. He was around me, before and after, but … not there." He supported his statement with a hand movement moving away from him.

Thorin turned to look at the others, the question unspoken, but everyone knowing what he wanted to know. There were several mumbled No's and shaking of heads. He turned back to Kili.

"When did you see him the last time?"

One could see on Kili's face how much he tried to think.

"We were shoved along, towards the platform and… Fili told me to stick as close as possible to you."

"I don't think he knew something, most likely he just wanted Kili to be safe.", Gandalf said suggestively.

Thorin nodded. "And then?"

His younger nephew looked down at his brother.

"I know he was next to me for a bit after that, but when we reached the platform and I ended up next to you, Fili… he was gone. I think."

"He left the platform with us, that's for sure. Now that I think about it… when I threw his weapons, he was further away than I had expected.", one of the other dwarfs said from behind.

"Behind you were quite a lot of goblins, it's possible that he was with them.", the wizard stated and looked into the far distance as if deep in thought.

Thorin figured that Gandalf knew more than he said, or at least had an idea. But they were in no position to start an argument of what had happened. They were still in danger of pursuers. Not the right time nor right place. Especially not with an injured and unconscious dwarf.

Fili was patched up and still hadn't moved at all. Without talking they all thought about how difficult it will be to continue with him. Some of them had walked away again to keep an eye on their surroundings, in case the goblins decided to leave their cave. The last thing they needed right now was to be attacked without being prepared for it.

Kili leaned down, Fili's head in his lap, and put their foreheads together.

"Fili, please… wake up. Don't leave me alone here."

Except for Thorin and Gandalf the other dwarves had all stepped away now, to give Kili some privacy with his brother.

"You promised. Only to die while fighting next to me.", the younger one whispered this so quiet, that not even his uncle and Gandalf could hear it.

\------------------------------

Kili's eyes were closed, pressed tightly together, furrowed eyebrows. Thorin watched his youngest nephew.

He was in pain.

The pain Thorin felt was nothing compared to his nephew's. Kili was in much worse pain. Everyone could see that. They both had been inseparable since the younger was born. Fili looked after him, was all proud to have a brother and wanted to teach him as much as possible.

In hard times, when Thorin needed a break, he visited his sister and her sons. They were refreshing to watch, a handful most of the time, but would bring a smile to his face nonetheless. They grew up so fast and learned even faster. He always teached Fili something when he came to visit. The next time he came, Fili had teached it to Kili, who was old enough as well by then.

The last thing he wanted was for them to join in on this journey to reclaim Erebor. A home they didn't know. Didn't love. Didn't feel like getting back. They came along because he was their uncle, their king - without kingdom a as a matter of fact. But it didn't change anything in their loyalty.

Fili had come up to him and requested to join. Kili not far behind, because they were a set of two. Sometimes Thorin wondered if his sister secretly had given birth to twins.

His nephews never knew war, only several orcs out there from short trips or hunting, but that was all. But knewing his heir next to him made Thorin give in to the request. He just had to make sure that nothing happened to them or his sister would kill him.

And now here they are, his oldest nephew injured and unconscious, the younger nephew in pain and worried to death. Really a set of two.

Kili never showed when he was worried or scared, Thorin wondered if he didn't have those feelings. Or perhaps he still was still too much of an child to know fear. But if something happened to his older brother, Kili was instantly in a state of shock, not moving from his brother's side if possible.

So he watched over them, hoping for Fili to wake up soon. Carrying another dwarf because of a mental breakdown wasn't really a pleasant thought.

\------------------------------

Kili opened his eyes, lifted his head a bit and looked at his brother's face before moving down and kissing his forehead.

He never understood why Fili would take all the pain and blame and danger and depressing thoughts, just so that Kili is save and can live happily. Sharing would make it so much easier. Both carrying a part, but not one alone the whole burden. His brother never listened though. Keeping to himself and letting Kili have an easy life, no problems or stuff to worry about.

Even now. Getting in trouble, getting hurt and not telling anyone. Fili would be the death of the younger brother one day.

He adored Fili, loved him, wanted to be like him in so many ways. Fili was the best brother Kili could imagine. He could have fun with him, but at the same time he was reminded not to act like an extremely idiot and think about their family line.

The older had a lot of character like his uncle, even if the looks didn't quite fit. Kili often was teased because of his undwarvish looks, at the same time he was popular with dwarf and human girls. Not like he cared. As he had told Fili, only he mattered.

He would change places with Fili at any time, even if just for taking on the burden of being the next heir. Quite some things were expected from Kili as the younger heir to Thorin, sometimes he thought he couldn't bear it anymore. But he couldn't even imagine how much expectations were placed on Fili's shoulders. Yet he never showed anything, was just a little bit too serious sometimes, but that was all.

\------------------------------

When Kili moved away from kissing he blond's forehead, he looked into blue eyes staring up at him, accompanied by a weak smile.

"Hey."

Thorin moved closer when he heard his nephew speak. Gandalf looked Fili over and asked a few questions regarding his state. Fili answered, but his look didn't leave his brother's eyes.

"You can explain later what happened, but you better have a good excuse why you didn't bother telling us about your injuries.", Thorin growled from the left side.

Kili felt Fili shiver. Not surprising if you think about how angry their uncle must be. No matter what they do, often it's ending in some disapproving rant from their uncle.

"We didn't have the time to worry about an injury. You know that, uncle.", Fili said with a low voice. Him not trying to sit up made it clear to his surroundings, that the injuries had quite some effect on the young dwarf. "We're still not out of danger, are we? We should get a move on."

Gandalf let out a small sigh while Thorin tilted his head and Kili got a smile back on his face. That surely was his brother. Even if he had done something wrong or was in trouble, the bigger picture mattered and in this case it meant getting away from here.

"You better can walk if you talk so determined on getting away."

Fili finally looked at his uncle and smiled.

"I just thought it's quite comfortable like this. In Kili's lap and all."

This earned him a cheek-squeeze from his brother, who still had a bit of worry written all over his face.

Fili lifted a hand to cup the younger's cheek and smiled again. The warm smile he only showed Kili to reassure him of something.

Kili studied him for a moment before his smile got wider and he seemed content that the older was okay. For now at least.

Thorin stood and held out a hand to help his nephew on his feet. Fili took it and was pulled up, with a bit of pushing from behind, Kili not letting this chance slip away to make fun of his brother later on.

Fili stood and they watched some seconds to make sure he wouldn't faint again.

Nothing happened, so they mentally prepared themselves for continuing when Gandalf's voice cut through the silence.

"Where's Bilbo? Where is our Hobbit? … Where is our HOBBIT?!"


End file.
